Marriage Jokes

A man and his wife shower together. The husband puts his hand on her breast and says "These are nice but if they were a bit firmer, you could walk around without a bra for me."...

Susan is fed up with her husband watching football on TV all the time."Im leaving you!" she yells. "All you care about is football. In any case, Ive found someone else. Hes much...

A man asks wife "what would you do if I won a lottery?" Wife says "I would take half and leave you." "Perfect. I have won Rs.100, here's Rs.50. Now get lost!"

Never argue with a woman, just use your brains like this guy. A man went on a night out with his friends the wife is furious and tells the kids that when he comes back they must...

Husband comes home drunk and breaks some plates, vomits and falls down on the floor! Wife pulls him up and cleans everything.Next day when he gets up he expects her to be really...

The government announced that if you have 5 children your salary will be increased by 50 percent. A man heard the news and said to his wife, "Darling, I have a kid with my...

Are you tired of the single life? Why not challenge God today? Buy the wedding gown and see if God won't supply the groom! If it doesn't work, RENT THE HALL!

A conversation between an husband and wife in their bedroom getting ready to have sex.HUSBAND: Dear, you should have this hair shaved a bit.WIFE: [Rolls her eyes] Yea! heard that...

A man brought a new computer home and asked his wife to set it up. The following day, when he got back from work he really needed to use the computer so he quickly put it on and...

A newly wed couple moves into their house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says!WIFE: Honey, you know in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking,...