Marriage Jokes

Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold winter morning: Windows are totally frozen, will not open. Husband replies: “Carefully pour some warm water over it...

A man was invited to a wedding. When he reached the hotel, he found two doors written on them: 1. Bride's relatives 2. Groom's relatives He entered the groom's door and...

Finding a Husband is Hard... 1. You find a handsome one, the brain is empty. 2. You find a brilliant one, he looks too serious. 3. You find a rich one, he is respectful...

MAN: Marry me? WOMAN: Do you have a flat? MAN: No. WOMAN: Do you have a Camry car? MAN: No. WOMAN: How much is your salary? MAN: No salary, but I... WOMAN: No...

A wife asks, "Why is it that in all marriages, the bride sits on the left side and the groom on the right?" The husband replies, "Have you ever seen a profit and loss statement...

At a wedding ceremony last Saturday, the officiating minister asked if there was anyone who had anything to say as regards the union of the two... Hell broke loose when a woman...

Three types of smell in the bedroom after marriage... First 6 months: Perfumes, Body spray, Body lotion... 1 year and above: Johnson baby powder, Castor oil, Baby oil, Baby...

Amazing Fact: You need at least 1 witness to prove a murder... And a minimum of 2 witnesses to register a marriage! It clarifies which one is more dangerous!

Q: How do you get your wife to scream and groan while you're having sex? A: Let her catch you doing it.

At a wedding, I asked the person sitting next to me, "Have you noticed how horrible-looking the bride is? She's ugly!" "You fool!!! That's my daughter you are talking about...