Sex Machine

Akpos and his wife were traveling to Italy by air. After they had settled in the air, the pilot made an announcement, “Ladies and gentlemen, we are sorry to announce that one of the engines has stopped working while the remaining one is not functioning as required. Therefore, we may crash in a few minutes from now. We advise that everyone should reconcile with God and settle every issue that need to be settled.”

At that point, Akpos touched his wife and said, “Honey, please forgive me! Your sister, Simi, who stays with us is my sex machine. We had several abortions. She has even planned to poison you on our return from Italy so that the both of us will be together. Please, find a place in your heart to forgive me."

His wife responded, “No problem dear.” she continued, “Since it’s a confession moment, let me also confess. Please, you must also forgive me. Two of our children, John and Esther, are not your biological children. Your biological child is Victoria. The rest belong to Kwame, your best friend. Do you remember the day you were robbed last year?”

Akpos answered, “Yes I remember.”

She continues, “I actually set you up with some gangs who robbed you because I needed the money to pay for my boyfriend, Kingsley, tuition fees. He got admission into Oxford University in England. Even now as we are talking, I have arranged for your death with an assassin on our return back home.”

Akpos responded, “No problem sweetie, I have forgiven you.”

Meanwhile, as the confessions were going on, the pilot announced again. “Ladies and gentlemen, you all must be powerful men and women of faith because God has answered your prayers, the two engines are perfectly ok and we are sure of a safe landing.”

At that point, Akpos stood up and shouted “Pilot! Pilot!! This plane must crash or I will crash the plane!!!"