Winners Chapel

In the days when you couldn't count on a public toilet facility, an English woman planned a trip to Warri. She was registered to stay in a small guest house owned by a local primary school headmaster named Mr Okpubuluku. She was concerned as to whether the guest house contained a WC.

In England, a bathroom is commonly called a WC which stands for "Water Closet". She wrote to the headmaster inquiring of the facilities about the WC. The headmaster, Mr Okpubuluku, not fluent in English, asked the local priest Mr Kombo if he knew the meaning of WC. Together they pondered possible meanings of the letters and concluded that the woman wanted to know if there was a "Winners Chapel" near the house, a toilet never crossed their minds.

So the headmaster wrote the following reply,

''Dear Madam,

I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is located 9 miles from the house. It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people and is open on Sundays and Wednesdays.

As there are many people expected all the time, I suggest you arrive early. There is, however, plenty of standing room. This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the habit of going regularly. It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was married in the WC as it was there that she met her husband. It was a wonderful event. There were ten people in every seat. It was wonderful to see the expressions on their faces. We took photos in different angle. My wife, sadly, has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been almost a year since she went last, which pains her greatly. You will be pleased to know that many people bring their lunch and eat it there too. Others prefer to wait till the last minute and arrive just in time.

I would recommend your plan to go on a Sunday as there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere. The newest addition is a bell which rings every time a person enters. We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats for all since many feel it is long needed. I look forward to escorting you there myself and sitting you in a place where you can be seen by all.

With deepest regards,
The Primary School Headmaster, Mr Okpubuluku.

As soon as the woman read the reply she quickly packed her things and took to her heels and never visited Warri again.