Marriage Jokes

A very elderly couple appears before a judge. Your honor, we want a divorce.A divorce? asks the judge, How old are you?Im 93. Shes 89.And how long have you been married?65 years....

One day, a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world. She was an innocent bride with no experience.After the wedding they left for their honeymoon...

At bedtime one night, the wife became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner. He started by running his hand across her shoulders, the small of her back...

WIFE: I found an aladdin's lamp today.HUSBAND: Wow, what did you ask for?WIFE: I told the genie to increase your brain capacity times ten. HUSBAND: Oh, has he done it? WIFE:...

A woman was having sex with her lover in her apartment, 20 stories high. Suddenly she heard her husband arrive. She told her lover, stay like a statue and don't move! HUSBAND: Who...

A young newly-wed couple were always quarrelling. At last, the wife decided that she will go back to her parents.She said angrily to her husband, ''I must go to my parents. I can'...

Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wifes voice from the kitchen, "What will you like for dinner my love, chicken, beef or lamb?"I said, Thank you,...

At a table in a restaurant, Akpos and a Lady were having dinner: AKPOS: Baby, I love you, would you please marry me?LADY: (Stands up and suddenly slaps Akpos) I have waited more...

A young girl after her honeymoon came fully exhausted and tired, when her friends asked her what happened? She replied, "When this 70 year old bastard told me he has saved a lot...

A woman woke up in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house. She heard sobbing from the basement. After...