General Jokes

FRIEND: You were so drunk last night...ME: No I wasn't!FRIEND: You called a taxi to take you home.ME: Yes so I will not be involved in an accident.FRIEND: [SMH] The party was at...

There was a blonde who was driving her car on her way back home. Suddenly, her car breaks down. So she called a mechanic to fix the car. The mechanic said, "Your car has a battery...

Timi was racing around the compound on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks.Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! (He hit his bicycle on the...

A signboard outside a restaurant said:"Eat as much as you can and let your grandchildren pay the bill".A man entered the restaurant, ate as much as he can and when the waiter gave...

A man ran into a police station shouting, "Officer! Officer! Please, help! There is a bomb in my garden!" The officer replied, "Calm down sir, if no one claims it within 3 days,...

A Doctor and an Engineer were in love with the same lady.The Doctor gives the woman a rose everyday, while the Engineer gives an apple to the woman everyday. The Doctor was...

A soldier ran up to a nun, out of breath he said, "please, may I hide under your skirt? I'll explain later". The nun agreed. A moment later two military police ran up and asked, "...

I was in somewhere in Lagos last week when a bullion van crashed into a pole and millions of naira was spilled. I was making for the cash when a policeman intercepted: POLICEMAN:...

Akpos came back from the bank with lots of money. Immediately he entered his house, he realised that criminals were after him. He heard a gunshot and that gave him a serious...

LAWYER: Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in Lagos a week ago from the village and barely knew his...